Furious 7 proves exactly what you
expect, a daisy chain of plot holes that serve as little more than excuses to
crash cars and blow up buildings. The characters seem shallow. The plot seems thinner than onion skin.
The dialogue? The
most profound words uttered through this entire film: “I’m back, bitches.”
Furious 7 offers unapologetic nonsense
that works in small, bite-sized quantities, but quickly grows tiresome in this
longwinded, directionless mess of a film.
Bad Guy B wants to
kill our heroes because his brother served as Bad Guy A in a prior film. Bad
Guy B can make explosives and wields a sniper rifle, but he spends billions of
dollars and involves foreign nations to seek his revenge.
Not a single scene
makes any sense. Every moment exists as eye candy.
Again,
this could work well in smaller doses. The ridiculousness can feel fun. It just
goes on for too long.
“Hey, what should
we film for the next ten minutes of the film?”
—How about ten minutes of car crashes?
“We filmed that
for the last ten minutes of this movie.”
—Okay. How about ten minutes of stuff
exploding?
“We filmed that
for ten minutes before that.”
—How about a crowd of beautiful women in
bikinis shaking their asses, all filmed from a low angle?
“Hey! I like that
idea. We haven’t spent ten minutes of film on that in thirty minutes.”
(Not that I mind
young women in bikinis shaking their asses, all filmed from a low angle, but
the filmmakers might as well name this flick, “Male Gaze: The Movie.”)
A group of women
decide to hold a ninja battle while in skimpy dresses and high heels for Pete’s
sake.
I think if the
film ran about thirty minutes shorter and improved its dialogue, a person could
enjoy its silliness.
You probably
wonder how the film recognized the death of actor Paul Walker. The film handled
that not only respectfully, but also artistically.
I actually felt impressed by it.
The film offered
one other point of interest.
We see, at one
point, Paul Walker’s character behind the wheel of a minivan while he drops his
son off at school. His adulthood threatens to become one of responsibility, removed from ninja fights and fiery car crashes.
Many adults
currently saddled with kids and other responsibilities existed (during the arrival of
the first Fast and the Furious movie)
as the younger audience that could effortlessly not only enjoy but also believe in this sort of action
experience.
Perhaps that
serves as the appeal, not just a two-hour vacation from reality but also a
two-hour reunion with our younger selves, who could swallow all this craziness,
not ask questions, and hopscotch around the plot holes.
If you stand in
the market for such a break, Furious 7
might work for you. If you need something with substance, avoid this movie.
The third book in my novel series, Diaries of Darkwana, finally arrived on Kindle. To celebrate, I lowered the prices on all my online novels.
If you like Japanese mythology, fantasy, and adventure, check it out.
You can also enjoy my other blogs.
Short stories at martinwolt.blogspot.com
A look at the entertainment industries at entertainmentmicroscope.blogspot.com
Advice for writing fiction at fictionformula.blogspot.com
An inside look at my novel series at darkwana.blogspot.com
Thanks for reading!
