Saturday, January 31, 2015

The Wedding Ringer

The Wedding Ringer proves hilarious, absurd, and a wonderful surprise. It serves as not only a great date movie, but also a great date test. If your date fails to find this movie funny, move on to the next candidate.
Kevin Hart gives a great performance as Jimmy Callahan, who, for a price, will attend your wedding as your best man, pretend that you two experienced together a long history, and tell lies to your new wife and her family to make you look good.
Josh Gad demonstrates an equally lovable performance as Doug Harris, who, about to marry without a single friend to name his best man, hires Jimmy.
Yes, filmmakers put together similar movies in the past, but let me know when you think you found a completely original plot, and I’ll point out as many of its obvious influences as you possess time to hear.
This movie piles on the laughs. Ten seconds rarely pass without something funny as hell to show for it. The humor often proves ridiculous, so you’ll often require a wide suspension of disbelief.
Two serious scenes exist (I combine two back-to-back, short scenes here). They work beautifully, give us exactly what we need to know to appreciate and empathize with the characters and their situations.
These scenes last as long as they need to and not a second longer. The writers and director  paced nearly everything with remarkable perfection.
I say “nearly” because a football scene near the end (though funny) feels a bit forced and creates a bit of a speed bump before Act Three opens.
I imagine that the writers felt that the football scene would help lubricate the eventual bound between Jimmy and Doug, as well as remind its audience members of the friends they possibly made on the field.
The football scene pays off to that extent, but not enough to justify its existence (call me a minimalist). Still, I nitpick heavily with this criticism.
This movie works. The actresses and actors appear to love every minute of it. The laughs might cure cancer, given their potency.
Those two aforementioned “serious” scenes work wonders to humanize and make believable our two main characters.
The moral premise proves vital to a healthy, happy life without a preachy moment.

I enjoyed The Wedding Ringer and hope that the producers don’t make a terrible, direct-to-video (disc, whatever) sequel.

Thanks for reading.
You probably noticed that I went about a week without a blog entry. I apologize for that. The creation of the prototype for my card game, Duelists of Darkwana (based on my novel series, Diaries of Darkwana), managed to eat up a lot of my time.
I also need to explain, on that note, where the heck the third novel for that series went. It sits done and ready to publish on Kindle.
At the moment, my wonderful cover artist deals with a few distractions. I promise that as soon as I get the completed cover art from her (if not sooner), I shall publish the third novel in my series.
OH! Also, Daughters of Darkwana received a sweet, succinct review, which you can read here, http://www.thebookeaters.co.uk/daughters-of-darkwana-by-martin-wolt-jr/


I publish my blogs as follows:
Sundays: Movie reviews at moviesmartinwolt.blogspot.com
Mondays: Short stories at martinwolt.blogspot.com
Tuesdays: A look at the politics of the entertainment world at EntertainmentMicroscope.blogspot.com.
Wednesdays: An inside look at my novels (such as Daughters of Darkwana, which you can now find on Kindle) at Darkwana.blogspot.com
Thursdays: Tips to improve your fiction at FictionFormula.blogspot.com

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Taken 3

You probably wonder why I would subject either of us to this movie.
I actually watched The Imitation Game about two weeks back, and I want badly to write about it. However, there remains several things I want to research, first.
Furthermore, I currently enjoy one of my transcontinental adventures. This means that I often wait for, at some point in my travels, a movie theater to conveniently materialize before me.
I found a bar (in which I watched the game--go Seahawks!), and afterwards sought a theater before I continued to seek out a motel (from which I now write this post). My options appeared limited once I found a theater (especially with the late hour).
I currently fight to stay awake long enough to complete and publish this review. If a typo manages to seep through my filters . . . look, I spent a lot of time both on a plane and on foot with a very heavy bag so just cut me some slack.
So. Taken 3. Let's just . . . let's just get through this one.
Taken 3 offers exactly what you'd expect. Liam Neeson punches and shoots his why through bad guys to protect his family.
You may recall that this served as the plot for the first Taken.
I watched, while I waited for the movie to begin, a preview for a movie called Run All Night, in which Liam Neeson punches and shoots his way through bad guys to protect his family.
I never saw Taken 2, but I assume that it features Liam Neeson while he punches and shoots his way through bad guys to protect his family.
Yes, the ultimate, Super Dad power fantasy continues for your vicarious pleasure. It even offers a bonus fantasy at no additional cost.
Neeson's ex-wife (in Taken 3--I couldn't guess how she spends real life) confesses that she still loves him and actually hates the guy for whom she left him. Oh, and it turns out that her new husband exists as a scumbag (sorry for the spoiler, but you can foresee it from space).
Neeson begins his brand new, second-verse-same-as-the-first adventure with the establishment that he exists as everything you probably wish you became. Other characters exist in this movie merely to confirm it. They either allow Neeson to beat them silly or shower Neeson with compliments.
"You're so honorable." "I respect you." "I want your opinion, Daddy."
Good grief.
I must admit, the writers know what their audience wants to hear (notice that "audience" stands singular).
That seems about it, really. Want to watch a bunch of stuff explode for no apparent reason while a guy somehow dodges bullets while protected in his invisible cocoon of awesome? Taken 3 ought to satisfy you, provided you don't think too hard (or at all) about the plot--seriously, it falls apart the second you do.
I would like, before we part, to ask you to take a quick quiz--only one question long.
A little setup, first. You see, at this PG-13 movie that player very late at night, many people brought along babies and small children who screamed and carried on for the duration of the movie. These people (the parents, one assumes) simply sat and did nothing to correct the situation.
Thus my question. Would you consider this behavior "bad parenting"?
I would feel relieved, if you answered anything less than, "Hell, no," to grab the nearest cheese grater and use it to remove your genitals before you reproduce.
Thank you.
I shall now pass out for the night.

(Thanks for reading. You might notice below that I changed the schedule for my blogs. I will, because of the number of projects on my plate, only produce a short story for this blog on Mondays. Fiction Formula will switch from Fridays to Thursdays. I apologize for any inconvenience, though I . . . doubt this will rock anyone's existence. Thanks again!)

I publish my blogs as follows:
Sundays: Movie reviews at moviesmartinwolt.blogspot.com
Mondays: Short stories at martinwolt.blogspot.com
Tuesdays: A look at the politics of the entertainment world at EntertainmentMicroscope.blogspot.com.
Wednesdays: An inside look at my novels (such as Daughters of Darkwana, which you can now find on Kindle) at Darkwana.blogspot.com
Thursdays: Tips to improve your fiction at FictionFormula.blogspot.com

Saturday, January 3, 2015

The Gambler

STOP TEXTING IN THE THEATER, OR I’LL GUT EVERYTHING YOU LOVE!
Okay. Let’s talk about The Gambler.
Mark Wahlberg plays Jim Bennett in this remake of the 1974 movie by the same name.
Jim’s character, born with a silver spoon in his mouth, grows up to write a paper that regards a novel he read in high school. He wins an award and with it a scholarship, goes to college, and eventually becomes an English professor at a university.
Our movie starts here.
Jim hates his job, mostly because his students don’t honestly care about the subject matter.
A serious gambling addiction possesses Jim. He takes all his money to casinos and loses it, rides his chips until he loses every last one in some financial, masochistic form of self-punishment.
Then, he borrows money from gangsters so he can lose that, too, and get the crap beat out of him in some physical, masochistic form of self-punishment.
He borrows from one loan shark after another, until his family and even his loose associates receive threats from the mob.
We confront, here, the movie’s biggest turnoff (note that I didn’t say “problem”). Jim fails to make the audience sympathetic towards him. Heck, I found myself more sympathetic towards the mobsters who endure Jim’s runaround.
Here’s the thing, though. Jim couldn’t get into this sort of trouble in exactly this sort of way unless he exists as a complete jackass.
Reverse character engineering: ask not how your character would react in a situation, but ask what sort of character would create the desired situation.
We face a unique circumstance with The Gambler, in that it matters not whether we like Jim, and it matters not how Jim’s circumstance arose.
Jim’s situation proves symbolic enough to fit any audience member’s personal (present or past) situation.
We all, at some point, serve as slaves to one compulsion or another. We all know the discomfort of debt and the deadlines we face to fulfill them.
Jim’s situation exists as the sum of those compulsions and fears. We can, as audience members, experience Jim’s world vicariously and yet on personal level.
The Gambler deals heavily with compulsions not limited to those found at the blackjack table. John Goodman speaks at lengths about alcoholism. A watch dealer confesses that he cannot fight the urge to haggle.
The Gambler deals with debts. Not just gambling debts. Not just monetary debts. All debts, anything that one person can owe another, may it be the truth, an apology, or whatever else chains us to the floor and twists our guts because we can’t seem to cough up the goods.
Pardon the sexism, but men don’t feel like men when they owe, when they borrow, when they can’t pick up the check. I imagine women wouldn’t recommend it, either. We feel weak, small, and impotent. We feel like failure.
John Goodman’s character, a dangerous loan shark, will only loan Jim money if Jim says, “I am not a man.”
When one of Goodman’s gangsters picks Jim up to meet Goodman for the (presumably) first time, the gangster even calls himself Big and (lest that prove too subtle) tells Jim that he, the gangster, possess a large penis.
Until the final series of scenes—where, not coincidently, Jim can finally hold his head high—Goodman wears only a towel so that we can witness how much larger he sits than Jim. Goodman's character, in fact, sits in a car for this final scene, while Jim stands over him.
If the movie’s plot performs you no favors, its dialogue will likely win you over. It sounded Quentin Tarantino-good.
I can’t identify a single actress or actor in this film that didn’t execute an admirable job.
I feared, during one of the final scenes, that the movie would cock tease its audience (sorry for all the curses today, but QUIT TEXTING THROUGH THE WHOLE DAMN MOVIE, YOU PRICKS!!!!).
I thought that a certain scene with a roulette wheel would end with a black screen and credits before it resolved. I felt grateful that director, Rupert Wyatt, didn't follow that path to nowhere.
The Gambler makes one final point. You can, under only two conditions, tell the whole world to go screw itself:
1)   You possess a vast amount of money, or
2)   You possess nothing to lose and don’t care.

I publish my blogs as follows:
Mondays and Thursdays: Short stories at martinwolt.blogspot.com
Tuesdays: A look at the politics of the entertainment world at EntertainmentMicroscope.blogspot.com.
Wednesdays: An inside look at my novels (such as Daughters of Darkwana, which you can now find on Kindle) at Darkwana.blogspot.com
Fridays: Tips to improve your fiction at FictionFormula.blogspot.com
Sundays: Movie reviews at moviesmartinwolt.blogspot.com